on losing something (thirty-two weeks working)

this is a story of friendship.

of me and my old phone, that i don't even know what model was.
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my sister introduced me to it - my old phone. it was something she gave me for christmas - her phone, handed down to me.

therefore, it was something i really never wished for. i had something else in mind. but i got no choice because i was still dependent at that time, and anything freely given to me was a blessing.

so the friendship began. out of nothing, into something.

at that time of course, the handed down phone was cooler than my first nokia 5210 cellphone... but not so cool against the new camphones available. but i was fine with that. at least i had a phone that was, at least from my point-of-view, new.

that was what mattered to me three years ago.

the handed-down phone had a built-in fm radio, and other features that was more advance than those of 5210 - calendar, stopwatch, countdown timer, tone composer, and integrated phonebook (haha.. advance pa tong mga to para sa kin dati...)

for three years, that one-sided friendship between me and my phone had been very memorable.
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three christmas' eves. three new year's eves. three birthdays. one graduation. a lot of company interview calls. at least three job offer calls.

these were only some of the events we had shared. more importantly, between those events, some calls and messages were made and received - from petty to normal to important to life-threatening.

my old phone was there for me.
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last christmas, i bought a new phone for myself as a gift, a nokia 5310 express music - way cooler than my old phone. too much way cooler.

from the very start, me and my 5310 already have a connection. it was something i really wanted for myself. i've researched about it. and it was something i paid for with my earnings.

let's just say we are more compatible than my old phone. in other words, the other old phone was overshadowed.
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despite having a replacement, i still kept the old one as my second phone. i bought a smart sim card to make it of use.

but slowly, my old phone became useless to me becaue i only know a handful of people who are with smart.

until there came a time when the only feature from the old phone that was useful to me was its alarm clock.
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i lost my old phone last week, tuesday.

it may have slipped from my right side pocket while i was on the jeepney.

and there, i realized what i lost.

true. you don't realize the value of something until it's gone.

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with the phone, i lost some important contact details. i failed to transfer them, since it would be done manually, given that the phone is outdated.

my collection of quotes were also there, from different kinds of people who are important to me. all kinds of quotes - from mushy to friendly to gory to weird.

memories lost.

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during those first hours of lost, i felt an odd feeling of fleeting strength. as if something really important was taken out of my system. odd.

for an old cellphone, i should not be feeling that way, but i did.

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i realized how i became careless with the old phone.

i recalled the days when it was the sole thing that is important to me.

and when its replacement arrived, i became neglectful of it.
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maybe it is for the better.

sometimes something has to go.

all we can do is accept the fact that it is gone.

and move on.

the series (seven months working)

seven months now, twenty-seven entries written, this is the twenty-eight.

what has this series achieved besides all the obvious drama in it...
1. the series has become my outlet of negativity. i was able to let it out of my emotional system to move on week after week after week.
2. the series has documented every happening in my life relevant to my work... some may be happy... some may tragic... but hey, it's still interesting and surprising in my part, that i have something to share to all of you every week.
3. the series has made me exposed everyone's concerns. perhaps, this is the most fulfilling part, especially when you guys leave your comments of support, that somehow i was able to shout out the exact feelings that you have. somehow, this has motivated me to continue writing, not only for my sake, but for everyone else as well.
4. the series has made me more open. i became more honest to people that i meet. i even let my officemates read my posts, for them to know me more.
5. the series has somehow helped me lay down all the issues i have with work. some officemates have been concerned about my negativity, and therefore, approached me to talk about it. and after that, my relationship with them has been harmonious.
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so there, to all of you who spent time reading my previous posts and commented about it.. i give you my appreciations.

a new year of work has begun.
till my next entry.