Saturday, October 16, 2004

word of honor.

if there is one thing i admire so much in a person is their ability to keep their words. if there is one thing i dislike so much in a person is their inability to stick to it.

why do people give promises if they will just be breaking it? whats the point of entering into a commitment, if one day you'll be leaving? how would you look people in the eye, if you say one thing in one time, and then a different thing on the next...

what the heck is wrong with these people?

they are such bad seeds spawning throughout the earth. they are just there to hurt you.

they make trust an impossible virtue amongst us.

the world is so full of betrayal and lies.

Friday, October 15, 2004

eheads rulez!

everytime i have a bad time, what better way to ease my mood and alter everything, but to get my eraserheads compilation album and sing to the top of my lungs.... it always makes me feel alright.

it's my wildest ambition to become a rock star... singing to their music makes me feel nostalgic about the past years and the good old days of my life.

i've memorized almost their songs and for me... they are the last best thing that ever happened to pinoy rock.... so far.

even though they have disbanded, i continue to become an avid fan of theirs....

sa aking mga ka-isko, saludo po ako sa inyo!

Thursday, October 14, 2004

easy bucks?

so i thought...

for four days i have survived to become a tutor for three highschool kids... for one hundred peso an hour... i have to teach them things i know ... in full speed without compromising the quality of information they have to receive...

yah.. easy bucks but of course, everything has a catch... what if i have already forgotten that lesson? or what if i do not know it at all.... who needs tutoring now? am i the one?

it is very embarrassing everytime things like that happen.... but nobody is perfect.. i am there to guide them learn.. not to spoonfeed everything on them... not to give them the answers totally.... otherwise, they will never learn...

first half is over.. four days left.. and one thousand and two hundred reasons more to stay....

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

the meaning of octane

as promised, i look up for the meaning of octane in the dictionary.
but as i read the meaning, the once feeling that the mystery of the word will now be solved turns out to be a mystery just about to get deeper....
webster defined octane as a numerical measure of a gasoline's anti-knocking properties.... and what the heck is that... what does anti-knocking mean?
this just proves that sometimes looking for the answer does not guarantee instant solutions....
so for all you guys out there... have a high-octane october ahead of you...
as for me... i am for sure to have a high-octane time myself tonight.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

i hate chemistry....

haha.... it was my second day acting as a substitute tutor for my friend... and i think what i expected to be the worst thing to happen really do happen....

i am supposed to teach this third year hs student his chemistry lessons....

gosh.. it has been four years now since i graduated from that dreaded subject... i have completely forgotten how miserable i am with that course.. and now it is haunting me.... i have to face chemistry again... my doom....


the good old yesterdays

it was really just like the old days when i was still working in jollibee....

last night, i spent my time hanging out with my good old buddies whom i met as i was searching for myself in jollibee.... they were my ex-bosses and ex-workmates, but forever friends....

we literally spent the whole night just having fun and talking about nonsense stuff just like we used to...
we sang, chat, sang, chat and so on... but no matter what.. it was indeed a great fun to see them again....

i really missed them... and i will surely be missing them a lot....

hope that we could have a time like that again sometime

Sunday, October 10, 2004

shigi shigi makamshigi fuma...

today is double ten... and almost people are giving a fuss with this date... it seems like everything seems new... a new beginning for some... but to two of my friends Yvonne and Jericho... double ten means their birthday.... so to you guys... HAPPY BIRTHDAY....

octane is the word for the day... i dont know why i have just heard of this word just for now... and i think i have heard and read this word almost five or six times... just this day... i said before i write to you guys, i will check out the dictionary for the meaning of this word... but laziness sets in... ill just look for it later....

well, i was quite disappointed this morning.... imagine, i set up my alarm clock at 830 am... just to catch the pilot episode of the amazing race 6 in studio 23... but to my dismay i just saw a man lecturing about the bible and family... then i still waited... only to find out that the next show is the sunday tv mass.... seems like god wants me to have a mass, ayt?

call it the evil side of me, i don't like hearing mass in front of the idiot box... televisions are supposed to make an idiot out of their viewers... not to make angels out of the lazy people who just can't take their butts of thier tv sets... except those handicapped of course. so let's jsut stick with the first one...

so i channel surf... but nothing suits my taste that day except that nostalgic show in gma7.... that goes...

um.. shigi shigi makamshigi fuma ... shigi shigi....

get it?

my most favorite show when i was still a child is on the air once more.... what else but SHAIDER! and guess what... im still entertained... not with the story .. but with myself... i was amused to learn that i was that stupid to appreciate the show when i was a kid.... heheh... things are much funnier now than before....

but of course, still shaider is still a good watch ... hehe....

i miss those days when i used to have a laser sword... and babilos and other stuff shaider have.... and acted as if i have his powers such as shaider scoop etc. i remember those times when i used to play with my older sister... she is my annie... the one who rescues shaider when he's caught... or the one rescued by shaider when she's caught....

im looking forward of seeing next week's episode.. and the week after that.. and the week after that..

Saturday, October 09, 2004

along the way

since wala akong post nung friday.. eto yung pang-make-up...

this is a poem i wrote for my Bro (my bestfriend) on his 18th bday...




Moving my way through this intricate maze
Confused and weary, I cease my journey
Ceaseless, meaningless and pointless, I say
What awaits? Don’t care! Come what may!


Along the way, a visible light materializes
Cutting through the dark, the sun emerges
He asks, “Why quit? Start moving!”
I answer, “Why bother? Quit asking!”


Right that moment, he insists
“With persistence, life becomes clear
Perplexed so it seems, complications disappear
To someone who believes in Fate and himself!”


Kind deeds for support, nice words to comfort
Laughs or cries, the sun has been there
Lighting my day, paving my way
With hope, I change. I relive.


Jauntily, with the sun on my side, I embark again
To the labyrinth, we move on once more
Rays of light guide my path this time
I tell the sun, “Thank you for shining. I am not astray.”

Absurdly, I have forgotten the ultimate reality
Nothing stays forever but change
The sun has to set for the night to come
With the creeping darkness, I become worried and scared


Marching my way, this time alone and disappointed
Confused and dreary, again, I postpone my journey
Ponder a while to remember the times
When the sun was there, telling me to make my way

Eagerly, I stand tall, amidst the darkness I go
As I walk through, I patiently wait
Along the way, I stumble
I am bleeding. I am wounded. I am nowhere.

Shedding tears and blood, I again walk as the sun told
Remembering his words and deeds, uplifted I feel
Suddenly a visible light materializes
Beaming through the darkness, the sun rises
I am safe.
I whisper, “Thank you for shining. I am not astray.”

an unusual reunion

yesterday i was in Michael's dad's wake... that's the reason why i didn't post anything yesterday

i was there to support my friend in one of the darkest days of his life...

and partly i was there to see the other people i have missed for quite a year now... my friends from highschool....

i saw quite a few of them, but mostly others are not there.... but despite this, i still feel elation because i really really really miss my friends so much...

yah. like a reunion we've said... but it's not right to think of such. a reunion is supposed to be a happy event, but we're not there to celebrate but to comfort our friend in despair....

but still, it is inevitable not to be cheerful. in a way, it is better that we have helped Michael forget about his sadness for a while...

i have forgotten my sadness for a while

and then an earthquake occured...

just makes me wonder how important my friends are to me....

that i have almost died with them... if the earthquake was more intense.

i could have died with them.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Pocas Palabras

i wish i could say to you
what my heart feels for you
i wish you could see
my efforts to get close to thee

"i love you" are just three simple words
but is difficult to say
it takes time and courage
to finally say what you mean

the first time we've met was bad
you and i had a fight
then i spoke just two simple words
"im sorry", and that made everything right

but why that three-worded sentence i can't utter
i need to tell you that to me you matter
when can i tell you if not today
swear to tell you, till i find you again
someday

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

BROWN-OUT!!!

it was wednesday, my favorite day of the week. during this day, i usually spend it listening to Monster Radio Riot where they used to play old songs from 80s to 90s...

so this day, as usual i turned-on my radio and listen to the songs playing.... until....

BROWN-OUT!

suddenly, the once joyful mood i had was replaced with gloom and darkness....
funny how a simple brown-out can take away the life you once have....

but despite this, life should still go on.... i took my scratch papers and started making paperboats.... i said, that upon the restoration of the electricity, i will count how many paperboats i have made....

so there is this certain anticipation and longing that i feel while i do my stuff....

until... there was light... and things are back to normal... i have made seventy something paper boats. wednesday is indeed my favorite day....







-for my dear friend, Michael Gan, who just lost his father.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

a brand new day...

its tuesday morning and i am here at my sister's house in taytay, rizal. what i imagined to be a great vacation turned out to be one of the most enlightening days of my life. it was really a wake-up call for me to have finally realized that i have grown-up and no longer a boy.

before, i was contented with the way my life is happening. i was a contented little boy, unaware of the future that is for me. i felt comfortable that my family is there, my sister is there. but things have changed. she is now a wife to a caring husband. she is already a wife.

i only realized this now. i thought my sister belongs to me forever. until she moves to her own house. a house very much far from where we live. she has her life that belongs to herself and to her new solid family.

and i am facing, just this morning, a new phase in my life. the once boy who never visioned the future, is now a man greatly anticipating it. i am a man now with a great deal of responsibilities.

until i realized that i am not the happy boy i used to be. i worry how lonely and cruel life will be.

i am an innocent. i am indeed looking for someone who could break this innocence. i am looking for someone to break the loneliness.

i am looking for someone to belong to
, just like my sister.

Monday, October 04, 2004

the lair of innocent sinners

in this world of confusion and too much anger, all are victims of treachery. we are victimized by this world of hate that we feel that everything is a punishment for our sins. but this is not true. we are innocent. we are innocent sinners that need redemption. to achieve our freedom, some chooses desperate means. but for me, a fellow innocent sinner, the only way is through speech, through stories. STORIES SET US FREE. our stories will set others free.